Blonde Jokes
Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.
Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded,
"Hurry, hurry! It's going to rain and we left the top down!"
Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded,
"Hurry, hurry! It's going to rain and we left the top down!"
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.
So, she took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, adding, in an arrogant manner, that he was a lawyer, and that there would be consequences if she let them thaw out.
Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"
No one’s hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.
There are two lessons here:
Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think!!
Thank you Art
So, she took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, adding, in an arrogant manner, that he was a lawyer, and that there would be consequences if she let them thaw out.
Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"
No one’s hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.
There are two lessons here:
Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think!!
Thank you Art
BLOND JOKE
The blond woman had been married about a year when one day the she came running up to her husband jumping for joy. Not knowing how to react, the husband started jumping up and down along with her. "Why are we so happy?" he asked. "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" She said. "Great" he said, tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped jumping and was breathless from all the jumping up and down. "I'm pregnant!" she gasped. The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for a while. He grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling her how wonderful it was, and that he couldn't be happier. Then she said "Oh, honey there's more." "What do you mean more?", he asked. "Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew. "It was easy" she said, "I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"
The blond woman had been married about a year when one day the she came running up to her husband jumping for joy. Not knowing how to react, the husband started jumping up and down along with her. "Why are we so happy?" he asked. "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" She said. "Great" he said, tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped jumping and was breathless from all the jumping up and down. "I'm pregnant!" she gasped. The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for a while. He grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling her how wonderful it was, and that he couldn't be happier. Then she said "Oh, honey there's more." "What do you mean more?", he asked. "Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew. "It was easy" she said, "I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"
A BLONDE PAINTER
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
THE NEW MISS KENTUCKY (LOOKS BLONDE TO ME)
This picture that will haunt her for the rest of her life:
Make-up and hair style .................... $500
New dress for the show ..................$700
Giant stuffed bear ............................$300
This picture that will haunt her for the rest of her life:
Make-up and hair style .................... $500
New dress for the show ..................$700
Giant stuffed bear ............................$300
Not knowing how to hold the
bear with a microphone in her hand
.....Priceless!!!
THANKS ONCE AGAIN TO ART B.
bear with a microphone in her hand
.....Priceless!!!
THANKS ONCE AGAIN TO ART B.
A contestant, Sally, on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' had
reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly,
she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only
the $25,000 milestone money.
And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question
was no pushover. It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does
not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other
birds? Is it:
A) the condor B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up
her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well, blond. But she had no alternative.
She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.
The blond responded unhesitatingly:
'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.'
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a
blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. 'I need an answer,' said Meredith.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'
'Is that your final answer?'
'Yes, that is my final answer.'
And Meredith replied, 'That answer is.... Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!'
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family
and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
'Joni, I just do not know how to thank you,' said the contestant.
'How did you happen to know the right answer?'
'Oh, come on,' said the blonde... 'Everybody knows that cuckoos
don't build nests. They live in clocks.'
Sally fainted.
reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly,
she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only
the $25,000 milestone money.
And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question
was no pushover. It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does
not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other
birds? Is it:
A) the condor B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up
her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well, blond. But she had no alternative.
She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.
The blond responded unhesitatingly:
'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.'
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a
blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. 'I need an answer,' said Meredith.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'
'Is that your final answer?'
'Yes, that is my final answer.'
And Meredith replied, 'That answer is.... Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!'
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family
and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
'Joni, I just do not know how to thank you,' said the contestant.
'How did you happen to know the right answer?'
'Oh, come on,' said the blonde... 'Everybody knows that cuckoos
don't build nests. They live in clocks.'
Sally fainted.
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again.
"What was the matter?" she asks.
"Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies.
Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
"What was the matter?" she asks.
"Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies.
Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
A BLONDE CATTLE RANCHER
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/religious-jokes/5
http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/religious-jokes/5
Blonde Moment - Deer Crossing - Radio Station
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BLONDES AND FOOTBALL
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
A Blonde Girl Ordering Food...... (taken from NSC Senior Surfers Blog because I thought it was a really fun video) |
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Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A "DOG PERSON" TO TRULY APPRECIATE THIS STORY
Stay
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,
"Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"
Stay
I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there.
I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,
"Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty young blonde, gave me a strange look and said,
(this is going to hurt ... read on)
"Why don't you just put it in 'Park'?"
Thank you Liz W.
(this is going to hurt ... read on)
"Why don't you just put it in 'Park'?"
Thank you Liz W.
A Blond Joke (From Art B.)
A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? Its men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!”
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde interrupts yelling, "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little shit on your lap."
A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.
Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Norwegian blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? Its men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!”
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde interrupts yelling, "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little shit on your lap."
This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde....
....flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.
'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
(Pause)
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . ..."
....flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.
'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
(Pause)
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . ..."
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
ONLY A BLONDE...........
From Art B.02/17/2016
Three women were sitting in a bar, (brunette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant.
The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have."
The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy".
The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved.
The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/barjokes/3pregnantwomenjokes.html
The brunette says, "I know what I'm going to have."
The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy".
The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved.
The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/barjokes/3pregnantwomenjokes.html
There is a blonde who is starting work at a store. The blonde starts off as a cashier. A customer comes in and says, "How much is this cookie?" The blonde says, "I don't know." The customer leaves angrily. The manager tells the blonde, "You have to say, '50 cents.'" A second customer comes in and says, "Is this cookie fresh?" The blonde says, "I don't know." The customer leaves angrily and the manager says, "You have to say, 'Fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh as can be.'" A third customer comes in and says, "Can I buy this cookie?" The blonde says, "I don't know." The customer leaves angrily and the manager says, "You have to say, 'If you don't, someone else will.'" A robber comes in and points a gun at the blonde and says, "How much is this cookie?" The blonde says, "50 cents." The robber says, "Are you being fresh with me?" The blonde says, "Fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh as can be." The robber says, "Maybe I should shoot you." The blonde says, "If you don't, someone else will." BANG!
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/blondecashierjoke.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/blondecashierjoke.html
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/blondecaraccidentjoke.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/blondecaraccidentjoke.html
A young blonde secretary was describing her blind date to a friend. "After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that." "That was smart," her friend said, approvingly. "Then what happened?" "He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said. "You didn't weaken your resolve, did you?" asked the friend. "Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let his mother worry."
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/blinddatejoke.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/blinddatejoke.html
There was once a blonde woman on a plane to Detroit. She was in the economy class, but after takeoff, she saw an empty seat in first class and moved there. An attendant saw her and said, "Excuse me, ma'am, but you have a ticket for economy class, not first. You cannot stay here." The blonde replied, "I can and I will." The attendant told the copilot, who came and talked to the woman. "Ma'am, we really can't have you staying in this seat, your ticket was for economy." "You can't make me move." The copilot told the captain, who tried to talk her out of the seat but it didn't work. Finally, a man who had heard what had been going on told the attendant to let him have a go at getting the woman out of the seat because he was married to a blonde too, so he knew how to deal with her. After a quick chat with her, she moved. The shocked attendant asked him how he did it. The man replied, "I told her first class wasn't going to Detroit."
See more at: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/latest-jokes#sthash.xwepE3pv.dpuf
See more at: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/latest-jokes#sthash.xwepE3pv.dpuf
Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde has figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde has figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ." The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
Blondes
A blonde was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry. The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust. The Spanish man agrees that the news is very sad. After a while the blonde asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/worldjokes/spainjokes.html
A blonde was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry. The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust. The Spanish man agrees that the news is very sad. After a while the blonde asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/worldjokes/spainjokes.html
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise
she pushed her ankle and screamed.Everywhere she touched made her
scream.
The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?”
“Well, no,” she said, “I'm actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said,“Your finger is broken.”
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
“Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise
she pushed her ankle and screamed.Everywhere she touched made her
scream.
The doctor said, “You're not really a redhead, are you?”
“Well, no,” she said, “I'm actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said,“Your finger is broken.”
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her driver’s license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together! Just yesterday they took my license away and now today you expect me to
show it to you?”
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her driver’s license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together! Just yesterday they took my license away and now today you expect me to
show it to you?”
KNITTING
A Highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”
A Highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was
knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT'S A SCARF!”
Alligator Shoes
A young lblonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/random/blonde376.html
A young lblonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of real alligator shoes in the worst way, but she didn't want to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Darn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/blondejokes/random/blonde376.html
BLONDE ON TIME
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named “Rolex” and one was named “Timex”.
Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“Helllooooo...! ,” answered the blonde. “They're watchdogs.”
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named “Rolex” and one was named “Timex”.
Her friend said, “Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?”
“Helllooooo...! ,” answered the blonde. “They're watchdogs.”
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